Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Lady's coming home this week.

her urn came today. and her remains are at the vet right now to be picked up. What timing. Dh told me that Dancer seemed sad. I said she needs a puppy. LOL Well you got to think that Dancer has never been without another dog. she went from the breeder (with dogs) to us with Lady. so to be the only dog, she is probably sad.

Friday, October 17, 2008

I am sorry

I haven't really been scrappin lately. I think it has to do with the Pica. while I am doing so good about the paper thing. I am afraid to sit at my desk and scrap. I think I will do something tomorrow. If anything I need to get my scrap space in order and get things ready for my crop. go through the pics of Lady and figure out what I need to bring with me.

Speaking of Lady. I keep hearing noises. I went into the closet and heard the sound of her collar. I let the Dancer out and I hear Lady bark. Just little things. The other day I washed the blanket. I had to make sure it was dry before dh got home cuz while we have a back up blanket, it was also the one lady slept on in the closet the last few months of her life. I don't know if dh is ready to use that blanket.

Well I am going to go and watch some tv before I fall asleep.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

just a little update

ya know what I realized today. Paper I use to eat, don't seem to taste the same as it did. so the urg for certain things are no longer an issue. Isn't that odd.

Also today Sam has a speech appointment and i just realized the last time she had speech, Lady was alive and now she isn't. And I went to pick up the paper and it was the bill from the vet when dh had her put to sleep. Wow we spent alot on Lady that last month. $200 for first vet appointment, $50ish for the second and the last $168. And it was all for naught.

today I went to the Y but then dh called afterward and wanted me to bring something home to eat. so what was the point of me working out. huh? I wish subway had a drive through cuz really, I would have went there but I didn't want to unbuckle Sam drag her in and then buckle her back up. I think subway would get more buisness if they had a drive through and I know it can be done as most people that go to subway know what they want and how they want it. If they can do it at Cousins then they can do it for subway. If you don't know or want to see what is being made then you can still go in if you like.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008


I don't know if winter is finally showing up but today is cold. it is about 55 degrees out but the wind has bite to it. I am chilled and just can't get warm, even with long sleeves and socks on. I am going to have to find a pair of warm slippers to wear. I have some but I just don't like them. I had a pair that i loved back when but they bit the dust.

Dh ordered Lady's Urn. I just find it a tad morbid to put her on the mantle like that. Everytime I will look at the mantle I will see her sitting up there. It will make me sad all over. It made me cry just looking at the darn thing on the screen.

My pica is better, I don't have that URG to eat paper like I did before. though I haven't really scrapbooked yet. It became such a habit to eat the scraps left over from cutting that I wonder if I will do it still. I think I will have to get some candy or something to chew on while I work so I don't run into that problem. I have had some slips but they are minor compared to what it was so I can't handle that. the little bit won't hurt me.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

i thought this wouldn't be too hard

I had 2 weeks to get use to this. Lady was just a ghost of a dog. I am finding little things throughout the day. yesterday it was a thunderstorm. Lady hated thunderstorms. I always knew a storm was coming before it arrived. I called her a walking barometer. She would follow you around (mostly me) and pant and fluff. crawl in your neck if you were sleeping. Today I heard a gun shot go off, hunting season is coming up next month and Lady hated that. She was a beagle and that is a breed used for hunting but she couldn't stand the sound of gun shots. I also wrapped up her tie out today. We got an underground fence in 2.5 months ago but the last weeks we found out she was sick we put her on the tie out so not to stress her. she hated getting shocked but learned not to go anywhere near the perimeter. actually she rarely ventured far from the house after getting a big jolt when she went to say hi to the garbage man. I think Dancer is feeling it too. She just seems mopey. Dh thinks that it won't be like this for Dancer since he isn't as attached but it will be. I find myself getting teary and just openly weeping (like now) I do put on a brave front in front of some and dh asks me how I feel but I can't tell him cuz
I can't talk about it without crying. It is just so quiet. I never thought that loosing her would leave the house so quiet. I guess I should have cuz she was always the barker. Dancer was quiet but Lady let people know when someone was out walking.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Lady * June 1998-Oct 2008 ~ Sleep well *

i can't be strong no longer...

i have always distanced myself from this whole Lady thing. I have always tried to be the rock and the word of reason. I think if we would have put her to sleep right away or with in the first week, but draggin this on and grasping is hard. Seeing her get worse is hard. Today I made the dreaded call to the vet for one final check up, I say final becuz I know the answer isn't good, I know that my husband is going to come home alone. He is going to leave with his beloved dog and come home without her. She isn't getting better. Refusing all food except hot dogs which are high in salt and bad for her heart. She has started doing this hacking thing and labor breathing when she is moving. I know this is the best but my heart breaks for my husband. I am openly weaping right now. Jim is not open to wanting another dog right now. I think it would be a good thing becuz I think that Lady would approve. So many pets out there need loving families and happy lives. It don't have to be another beagle. His thinking is he don't want to go through this again. I told him, he is going to have to..we have Dancer. He thinks that cuz he isn't as attached to Dancer it won't be as bad, but trust me it will be cuz I weep for Lady and I wasn't as attached to her either. It is 11:19 right now. the appointment is at 11:45. while I should go with him, I can't. I can't drag all three kids over to the vet and have them see their Daddy cry like that. So please hug your puppies tight.

Honestly what goes through his head

Somedays I would love to see why my son does the things he does. Like why playing in dirty litter is good. or why thinking that dumping clean litter on the floor is a good idea. Or dumping litter in the toilet and sink could possibly work. (clumping litter that is). This morning I awoke to find that he had CRACKED all the eggs in the fridge. there was I think 8-9 eggs and he cracked all but one open and put them in the sink and the shells in the carton and the one egg was left out so obviously was no good. He did this sometime between 10 pm and the morning. I don't know when. I was in bed. and while I was awake at about 11 I didn't hear him go down. Seriously what runs through his head. Well I have house work to do, a dude is coming today to buy our old tv. Hopefully he shows, I have had this happen with another buyer for the tv. she was interested then our timing wasn't right, then we even lowered the price a little, she planned on coming out, only to not show. Drives me bonkers. but I need this money for my scrappin weekend. it sure will help.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Well I haven't been scrappin but I have been making sushi

Fake sushi but I think it turned out cute. I make play food and I am trying to get some stock built up and try to sell it on etsy or other mom's who want hand made playfood. Each peice is hand stiched and take some take a little time and some take alot. it is hard on the hand at times so I can't work on it continuously but thanks to the dvr I can watch TV and work on it when I feel like it. You can see the food I have made (not all is in stock though) HERE I started this playfood awhile ago as a gift and then when I had a daughter I started again. though right now she isn't quite into it yet, but when she is I will be ready for her. there is still a ton of foods I haven't made yet that I have patterns for and a few ideas for other that I have in my head. Of the playfood I made the Sushi, food box, tuna can, egg carton and the soup/veggie cans I came up with the pattern for on my own.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

It is so hard

watching your pet die. you know they will eventually and i know it is the best thing to do but today was hard. I came home to dh wanting me to make another vet appointment. He is so optimistic but I think it is a loosing battle. this is his dog and seeing him cry just breaks my heart. I have seen him tear up during movies but to out right weep it the roughest part. I may seem heartless at times when it comes to this but this is my way of keeping myself back from it. I don't want to cry. this is the first time I am crying and it only cuz he is crying. I have a feeling on Tuesday we will be putting Lady to sleep. I guess her being sick has got me use to the idea of her being gone as she isn't begging, stealing or pleading for food, not gotten in the garbage or snuck out of the house. She is a ghost of what she was and really isn't Lady to me anymore.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Just some musing about today

Lady will only eat things we make for her. she is boycotting all dog food. so I guess I will be making some homemade doggie food with chicken I just boiled for her. I don't care as long as she eats. though I honestly don't think she is getting better. my dh says give the meds time. but how can you make a heart start working. or if she has cancer. she still has labored breathing sometimes

On the pica front. I got my iron supplements and will start on those. today was a good day, only one slip. though I felt a little off. the walmart blood pressure thing said I had high bp...just the upper number. I wonder if it is coming off the whole paper thing. Can you have withdrawel from that?

Tomorrow I think I am going to go to the Y and do water fitness. I did do 30 min on the wii fit board today. it was cute cuz Sam was doing the yoga moves with me. no I didn't do all yoga. I did a combo of aerobic, balance and yoga.

I love the halloween time. only cuz they have packages of mini candies. I got some wonka assortment. they are perfect cuz when you have a need for sugar I grab one. I won't get the chocolate ones as I will eat those in a day. what is it with chocolate I will scarf down but sugary things I can take my time. I just finished off my mini nerds. If the kids don't find them I will have to bring them down scrappin.

CRAP the kids found my candy stash. aw heck

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Today was a good day

I had two slips with pica but that is alot better than what it was. i am working so hard to stay away. course I didn't do any scrappin today. I also picked up some suppliments to get me started. I know I need vit D as I don't drink milk. and potatsium good for the heart. I do feel better today, sleepy but better. I even was in the store and got the urge to make a meal so I bought some stuff to cook. I haven't decided on pork roast, beef roast or something else. hmmm. it will be something in the slow cooker. I love that thing. My MiL got me a new one. I love the three different size pots. though I stained the heck out of the biggest one with my refried beans. so i have to find the book for it and see if I can order another one. use the stained one for just beans. course I dont really entertain so I guess it don't matter.

Good blood work came back and while I am severely anemic, everything else looked good. she said my percentage was 9 % and she likes to see things above she wants me to take 600 mg of iron a day WOW. I have to go get some supplements today...follow up in 3 weeks. I hope this helps me. I know I will always have pica, and as long as it is here or there I am fine but this last few weeks have been CRAZY!!!!

now to get my dh in cuz I have a feeling he is anemic too.

I don't think she is going to make it

she was eating and now she is refusing. i even bought different food. i know what we should do but it is up to dh. Also we have to find a place that does cremation of pets. dh wants her cremated. i just want to cry but i know this is the best. I told dh that i don't want another beagle. while I love Lady, it is too much stress for me. Of course now we have the underground fence so i guess it wouldn't be too bad.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Pica and Lady update

Pica is a medical disorder characterized by an appetite for largely
non-nutritive substances

I suffer from Pica. the worse kind to a scrapbooker though. I eat paper. I have always done this when I was a teenager. grew out of it. then did it from time to time. well it has gotten worse this past summer till now. it is hard as I know it is wrong, I know it is gross, I know it isn't healthy but i can't stop. I scrapbook, I have paper everywhere. somedays are ok. some aren't. I took the first step today though and went to the doctor. She gave me some ah ha moments. Here I had heavy monthly clotting during my womenly visits. turns out the pica and clotting could go together. I could be anemic. I could be lacking something. the pica isn't cuz I am hungry either. I could have just eaten but still have the urge to have paper. So the doctor is doing a blood work up. this could also explain the feeling I have of chaos. I stand in my kitchen, look around see clutter and just freak. I use to be good at keeping up with the house work and now I just don't want to. So right now we are going to work on it and I am going to fight the urge to eat paper. Today was a semi good day so far. I only had 3 episodes. I just want to feel like me. good note, my blood pressure was fine.

Lady, it don't look good. Dh of course has the egyptian flu (huh brenda sound familar) and is in Denile. He wants to try the meds longer. While I feel that I don't want to loose Lady, I just don't want her to suffer. while she is doing better. the improvment isn't much. But Lady is Jim's dog and he don't want to loose her. I probably would feel the same if it were Dancer. I don't like to loose a pet but I rather they go soundly to sleep for good then dying here. Part of it also is that I don't want to wake to find a dead animal. I don't my kids to see it either. a dead mouse or bug is one thing but not a pet. expecially for Hunter as they have all been raised together. While they don't care for Lady (she steals their food) I know that they do still love her.

Sunday, October 5, 2008


here is a layout that I worked on yesterday. I figure I should get some layouts done of the dogs before they are no longer with us. I never realized they are both coming up on their maximum life expectency. I just thought they would live longer. Dancer is 11 years old. She is an Australian Shepherd. everytime someone asks what kinda of dog they think they should get, I always say an Aussie. they are very good listeners, quiet for the most part, they do need to be groomed though. I do it about once a month but taking her in for a wash and trim. She is also my shadow. She has followed me around since day one of getting her and usually can be found at my feet or laying in the doorway leading to my scrapbook room. The flowers on this layout use to be white but I colored them with water colors to match the layout. I love this technique as it gives you more options instead of buying a bunch of flowers in different colors. the bunch came from walmart for 75cents and I think I got over 20 flowers. the green ones are primas. The font is Opposites attract upright.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Cuttlebug challenge

Well here is a card I did for the cuttlebug challenge The challenge was to use 3 different embossing folder. this card I did used the swirls, swiss dot and the Happy birthday folder. funny thing is I cut out the happy birthday to put on the front of the card and then after the card was put together I noticed it didn't say happy birthday but Birthday Happy. LOL So I had to redo it by embossing the happy then the birthday below it as there was no Happy birthday on the folder I was using that was easy to cut out. I will give this card to my MiL for her stash. the glitter is stickles and cheap glitter glue from Michaels.

Silence is golden in a house with kids

This morning I woke up at 8am. oh it was nice. would have been nicer if I would have went to bed early but I didn't. I fell asleep at 1:30am. the house was quiet. I took Dancer out (Lady was still sleeping) and then went up and took advantage of the silence and took a bath. It was nice. Even deep conditioned my hair.

Dh bought some special dog food for Lady and Dancer online. It is suppose to be good for them and no fillers, well...they don't like it. Lady ate some of the wet to take her pill then Jim mixed the wet with the dry and she refused to eat it. Even Dancer went over there and tried some, she ate some of the wet and spit out the dry. I am not sure what we are going to do with it now. I will probably have to mix the dry with the Iams and sneak it in. Good thing Jim only got one can of wet. I think we are going to stick with the pedigree wet. though we do need to get Lady to eat more than just wet.

Well today I am going to try and turn off the computer for most of the day. Saturdays are slow anyway. get some house work done and then watch some OTH and scrapbook. Tonite Dh and I will watch IRON MAN.

**OTH means One Tree Hill for those who don't know.***

Friday, October 3, 2008

Secret Body Mist

So I picked up a can today. They only had on the shelf Jasmine orient and KuKu Cocobutter. So I smelled both (the other scent is apple) I must say the Jasmin orient is NICE. It is a nice fresh shower scent to it. I am so glad they came out with some body mists like they did with Axe for men. Cuz ya know there are times when you just need a freshening. oh and the cap is nice cuz you can close it up so you don't accendentally spray everything in your purse or bag.

Oh and on a side note I kinda got my sister in trouble with my posting of the Auntie thing. OOPS! I forgot that I sent my blog address to my sister who didn't know yet and she called the other sister and down the line it went. So, now everyone knows...Course no one called me after the fact and I have been trying to get a hold of said sister (Lori) all day. to discuss what we will do next year, CKC or November Crop again.

Lady's blood work back, good and bad

Good--it is not blasto.
Bad -- it is probably tumors, not sure if cancerous or not.

I will discuss more options with the vet on Monday.

Going to be an Auntie again!!!!

don't congrats me though as i am old hat at the auntie business. This will be grandchild number 13 for my side of the family and there are 7 on my dh's side. Now before you say WOW. 13 is spread out amongst 7 children. of course 7 is a big number and that is spread out amongst only 2. So i guess it is a good think I didnt get rid of all my baby stuff this summer. My sister is not very happy as it was unplanned but will get over it. So will it be a girl or boy. oooh I can't wait. she has two girls so it would be nice to have a boy in the mix.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

oh I forgot to add. the boys school pictures are in...

here they are...Camden wouldn't smile and Hunter never shows his teeth. Next time I think I will get the pictures done first instead of last. that is if they do the same set up they did this year. Can you see the spot on Camden's shirt. I don't know where that came from. I got them dressed just before we left for school and told them DONT GET DIRTY. But somehow Camden got a spot on his shirt.

Wow this is fun and update on Lady

Well as you see I tweaked it a little. I don't know if I will keep this but I think the little kitty is fitting. I wish I knew how to make the journaling area wider though. that strip is so thin. if any of you know how to do this let me know. I just copied a code from someone.

Ok now for an update. Some of the blood work is back on Lady. though not the one on the Blasto. but we do know that 1. her internal organs, like kidney and such are fine. just her heart that is enlarged and her lungs. Her T4 count is fine also, though I didn't expect that to change with her being in thyroid meds. Her white cell count though is high, which is an indicator of an infection somewhere. So we start her on antibotics today. the Blasto results should be in tomorrow. The vet is hoping that comes back negative. I do to. I hope it is just some random infection in her lungs and these meds take care of that. So add one more pill to her regimin. that is 5 pills now she has to take. I am just a walking pharmacy, with Jim's acid reflux and colitis meds, Camden's ADHD meds and now the dogs meds. I am surprised that I can remember who gets what.

Sam is on her way speech wise

I just got done with an eval for her speech therapy and she is right on target. They are beginning to wean her off therapy. starting this month every other week and next month 1 time and after that probably no more. Then for school year of 2009-2010 we will see about preschool. YEAH. first we have to work on potty training. OH and I need to get crackin and finish Erin's altered clipboard for her. I have the front done. I am not sure what I want to do with the back. I also would like to have an attached pen cuz a few times she has misplaced her pen. Here is the newest layout I did of Sam also.

It is kinda hard to see the BAD as it is done with Vellum but it is gorgous (I know tootin my own horn) in real life.

Just wanted to add this layout I did of Lady

Ironically i did it last weekend before we knew she was sick

Well I decided to try this blogging thing

Well I guess this is my first blog. I hope to use this blog to keep people up to date on my life, loves and layouts. Lady (our beagle) got me to jump start the blog thing.

For those of you who don't know. Our dog, Lady is ill. We found out on Monday. It started out as me just taking her in cuz she was panting alot in the evening and seemed to have lost alot of wieght. I was thinking it was going to be just a standard visit and nothing would be wrong. Turns out I was sooo sooo wrong. She has an enlarged heart and possibly either Blastomycosis or cancer of the lung. there is fluid on her lung and some white spots. I am right now waiting for the vet to call us with the Blasto results. She is on heart meds and has a follow up appointment on monday to see what is going on with that. I am nervous about all this as my friends dog just died from Blasto and the more I hear the more I don't like it. My sister's MiL's dog also died from Blasto. Lady has been with dh and I for 11 years. since just before we got married. she is our first dog. And while she can be a pain in the butt I don't want to loose her. I also learned the life expectency of a beagle is 10-15 years. that is just crazy to think about that cuz Lady seems just so young to me. she didn't act like an old girl. we even had to get an invisible fence cuz she kept wanting to follow scents.

The boys school pictures are back too. I am going to post those later as soon as Hunter gets home with his. Teacher conferences is next week. YIKES not looking forward to hearing that. I know Hunter is having issues with getting stuff in on TIME. Camden is doing AWESOME as long as we remember his meds. he does his homework without complaint most nites and is doing great. Samantha is having another speak eval today to see if we need to continue with her speech therapy. I kinda am hoping we are done as that is $35 a month we won't have to dish out.

Well I better run. I need to clean my kitchen and get things straightened up so I can scrap later today, I have 2 dvd's to watch. I want to catch up on my One Tree Hill so I can start the new season.