Homeschooling I don't get it

You when I had my kids there was one thing I counted down to happen. they went to school and i got some quiet time. I didn't think I am going to keep them home and teach them. no i don't have the patience for that. I love sending them to school and have them be the schools problem for 7 hrs. i love not to worry about cooking for them in the afternoon. fighting over something or walking around saying I am bored. I have tried helping the kids with their homework only to get so stressed i can't see straight. i couldn't picture me homeschooling all the time like that. and then what if they should fail. what if what i taught them wasn't enuf and they just became stupid. I would be to blame. I also often wonder if the down turn of the schools that people see, you know the ones who say "kids aren't learning in school" well maybe it also has a corrilation to homeschooling. I don't, it just seems like when i was in school I wasn't such a problem to teach. i did my homework. sure there was classes i just did enuf to skate by but i never gave my mom a hard time when it came to homework. I guess i don't get parents who want to be with their children ALL the time. i love my kids but I need my break. Right now i have 2 hrs of free me time, usually i end up watching tv or running errands but next year....oh glorious next year. all three will be in school. FULL DAY. i can think about getting a part time job with mommy hours. Yeah i don't get home schooling.

Thanksgiving

Our plans are to go to the inlaws. Well today MiL had said something to me that made me feel like i really don't want to go. I asked her if she wanted me to bring Marble. She adored her when I brought her down. But she had said "not if she pee's in the house" WTH. Yes our dogs still have 'accidents from time to time" but not like before. they are pretty much trained but Bailey still will poop upstairs if I leave the door open. i don't know why she does this. And when you take your dogs to someone's house there may be an accident. just something that happens, why becuz they are not familar with the need to go outside and which door to go to. when they are in their house, they know what is and isn't expected. in a strangers house it is all new. Well when we go down to the inlaws we are going to have to bring ALL the dogs. yes, THREE. so on top of taking care of the kids I am going to have to watch for signs they have to go out. and just all that fun stuff. going to have to watch Marble to make sure she don't chew on things (she is after all still a puppy) just alot of watching (on top of watching the kids) yes, dh will be there. but like everything it all falls on me. and Truthfully, i rather he take the kids down and I stay home. I grew up without thanksgiving, it won't hurt me to miss it. I love my dogs but i hate having to go away and worry about these things. see usually we don't go away together. it is usually just me going, so dh would be home to watch the dogs. Can't afford to board them. this is what sucks about being away from family, if we were just an hour or two away then we could just go down for the day and leave the pups at home.

Parenting

Recently my parenting has been called into question by someone who really don't cross my mind but it bothers me that they think that I seem to be the white trash side of the family. I am not saying I am a perfect parent, as we all know we strive to be this but all of us at sometime fall short. I am going to say this, I do from time to time call my kids idiots, but I also call them very smart. it is a balance. There are times when the children aren't smart. Is idiot the right term to use. Probably not. Should i attempt to correct myself. Sure. But you know that there are times in a heat of the moment you just let things slip, cuz you are upset or what have you. There are times when i have lost my temper but despite how I can be, my kids will still come up to me and say i love you. i will tout more kiss on them and affection then the bad. They love me and they know i love them, despite them being idiots from time to time. I am a free thinker and that if you use a swear word in the correct context i will say to them, "that is correct that is shit but could you use blah instead" Swear words in our house are very rarely said from me, my kids have pointed this out. but i am not one to put a bad on the words. becuz if you do that will make them more fun to say. we use alot of replacement words for bad words but i have come to find that don't fly in school either when my son said Fricken in school. My son's also would NEVER flip a person off. when i talked to H about this, he gave me a definate "NO" as if to ask me, "why would you ever aske me such a stupid question" Good boy. but this said person aboves child does flip people off and my thinking is "did the kid deserve" cuz you know while they really shouldn't do that, sometimes it is needed. but like anything if you do it too much you loose the power of it. So if you go around flipping people off it looses it's oomph. and school isn't the place but maybe if you taught your child they are only words and words don't hurt he wouldn't have had the need to flip a child off over something said. yes they hurt your feelings but if you know you aren't that word then it shouldn't matter what they think. They are only being Idiots.

I am not perfect but I am teaching my children and my children are very bright. despite being raised 75% by me. My son just recently came up to me and asked me how to spell things and usually if i can, i will help him sound it out. this word he asked was PIT. i asked him. how do you spell IT and he said "I - T" I said ok then how do you spell PIT. and he learned to spell it himself. some days i will use it as spelling day and then just spell things as i talk. teaches them spelling and i have to say, while they are crappy and penmanship, they rock at spelling, reading and others. So no my kids aren't Idiots....but there are times that they are and yes I am going to call them on it. cuz if you keep raising them up, they are going to think they are perfect and without fault when we all know, we all have faults, We aren't perfect. We do the best we can. and if certain people don't agree with it, stop worrying about me cuz there obviously is something going on in your family you need to work on.

Fighting the Clock

It seems day in and day out I am just watching the clock for the next thing i have to do. I wish I could just spend a day and not watch the clock. not worry about my time and what i need to do or should have done. My day usually consists of 6am wake up where I get 30 min of me time, i usually spend that watching part of a tv show if it is an hour long one or a 30min show. then i get the kids up. where i spend my morning getting them going, making lunches. then at 7:20 yelling at them to get dressed and shoes on cuz they ignored the first bell that tells them that. then out the door about 7:30-40 take them to school. then Sam and I will run to the Gym, where she will play and I will workout. from there it is either to the store if i need to get something or home. where I will spend sometime on the computer, or cleaning or something while she watch tv. then make her lunch at 11:30, and when she is done brush her hair and then the bell goes off at 12, shoes on and out the door. drop her off at school, after that i will either use that time to run some errands or go home where i will spend time again cleaning, computer or catching up on some shows. but that time goes by fast cuz before I know it, the alarm goes off and it is time to run to the school to pick up the kids and then home where if it is a day that husband works i am rushing to get something made for his dinner. If i hadn't already started it during my precious kid free 2 hour when sam was in school. Getting the kids doing their homework. then feeding them after dh leaves for work. Once i get in the door I am already watching the clock for bedtime. then when the go to bed You would think that i could have some time but that is when the husband wants time. You have to also factor in the laundry that gets done. the baths, the dishes, the yard work, garbage day, dogs, kids, and all the running around. i don't get me time much. except for the time i spend on the computer. but no time to watch my dvr shows. no time to watch netflix movies, Right now I am counting down the time (yep again watching but this time the calendar. for when my weekend scrapbook crop is coming cuz i can't wait till i get 3 glorious days of ME. no kids, no husband and No dogs. Just me and my sisters and a few online friends scrapbooking away

Do you ever get something and then think do i really need that

Well that is where i am at with the Gypsy? i found it to be really neat but now I am thinking short of being able to store all my cricut cartridges on it. is it really worth it.. i dont' really design things using my CDS so really the DS on the gypsy probably won't be used. i don't need to design while I am on the go so really do i really need it. with the zoom buttons not working. I am now thinking of returning it all together. i just don't really need it. and while it comes with 2 gypsy cartridges, i don't really think it is worth the cost. So I am leaning toward sending it back

HOLY HELL CAN THEY HURT ANYMORE

My legs are absolutly killing me. they haven't had anytime to rest. Sunday i moved 3 couches, Monday i was on my feet all day cleaning. today (tuesday) i went with Camden to chaperone his class field trip. I have been on my feet from 8am to 3pm then with a few intervals of sitting down. OMG tomorrow i hope to just be able to sit and chill (as soon as i do a quick run through of the house, dishes, laundry, general pick up and maybe a swiffer of the floor) Then i hope to chill in my scrapbook room and accomplish something and watch a movie.

Camdens field trip was FUN. We went to a place called Gibb's Farm. you can learn more about it HERE I didn't know back in those days that families with alot of children, just borrow children from other families and they become their own. (like adoption) their beds were all so small. and it was neat explaining to the kids when we did the hands on thing what things are and what they are used for. We also saw and old school house. animals and a replica of a Sod house and how much room they had and lived in for 5 years before building the big house they had us tour. When we were in the Sod House the tour guide asked if we knew what the oil cloth around the inside kept out and i whispered in Camden's ear water and without me knowing he raised his hand and answered. He did it again but mumble the other answer about the basket. He told me as we were leaving that he wanted a sod house. (btw it was a log cabin built into the hill and called sod house cuz of the grass on the roof) they also dipped candles.

From there we went to the zoo. it was just a small zoo and i tried to tell the kids as much as i knew about the animals. and Camden loved it. he said he would like to go back and spend more time there (we only had 1.5hr most the time was at Gibbs) i told him we could as it was free and now that i knew where it was. maybe we will go back during butterfly time.

after school was Camden's teacher conference which as of right now he is doing well. his reading lexile number is good. considering that he really don't read much at home. but as far as behavoir he is doing great.

But me, i am ready for bed. i am beat.

So DRAINED

who said that having kids would drain you so. never met my husband. I think dealing with him is worse than dealing with the kids some days. The problem with him is he won't talk to me, tell me what is bothering him. he just goes around huffing and phttting everytime he sees me. he talks to me but if i don't give him an answer he likes then he huffs off. Right now it is about Supper. well i been cleaning all day, why cuz i am upset. so now it is 8 the kids have all ate but he is hungry. well he won't tell me what he wants. so he huffs off

How many kids do I have again

Sometimes it feels like i have 4 and not 3. Sometimes i feel like I am treated like a child when I am not.

Yesterday I woke up and took a long bath. went about my day and i knew that this would happen. When i get upstairs beat from moving 3 couches around alone, through doorways where a second person would come in hand. I wanted to lay down and cuddle with the man and watch tv. Right away i get upstairs and he says to me what he always says "go take a bath" WTF for, i took one in the am. But for some reason if he wants to have "relations" he wants me to bathe prior. But yet for him a quick wipe down is ok. or he can take a bath once a day and be ok. i don't tell him go take a bath. Yesterday I told him NO, i took one that morning. and so then he got huffy and pouting like a child. i went to lay on his shoulder and he said I am crowding him, making him hot blah blah. but you know damn well if i had taken a bath it would have been "come here lay next to me" Seriously i am so sick of being told to take a bath. it has been this way for a long time. Even my MiL sees it and lectures him on stop telling me to take a bath when i am a big girl. yesterday i was just tired, i just want to lay with him and watch tv. but instead I did lay on his chest but he didn't want me there and we watched tv which i fell asleep during but he pouted the whole time and then when the show was done told me to go to sleep. so i cried myself to sleep cuz i felt defeated cuz he was such a friggin baby cuz i didn't take a bath and I know I wasn't in the wrong but it felt like it. and now he is grumpy. but i am kinda wishing I would have took the bath cuz i am so tender from all the moving i did yesterday

I WANT

oh how i am learning to despise these two words. I hear them everyday. "I want Ice cream" "i want a snack" "i want McDonald's" "I want to watch something else" "i want Hunter to play with me" "I want my DS" "I want ____ for supper"

so here are some of my I WANTS

* I want to stop being treated like a short order cook. I don't want to clean out the oil cuz you want tostadas for dinner. I am serving such and such for dinner. i don't want you to turn your nose up at it and say "eww i don't like that, i want something else" i cooked for you to eat this. how can you say you don't like it if you never try it.

* I want to stop having to constantly pick up after you. You do not live in a barn. You can not expect me to always walk behind you picking things up. This is written toward both large adult child and my small birth children. You do not have to leave your cloths where ever you took them off. We have a laundry sorter down stairs and a laundry shoot upstairs USE THEM

* I want to stop having to always pick up the dog crap. Exspecially if you are standing right next to it. why do i have to walk up the stairs to pick it up when you are fully capible to do it.

* I want to stop being treated as if cuz i don't work i have all the time in the world to do everything. I am not only doing the job of a mom but half the job of the dad. the repairs, the lawn care, the garbage, I am doing those too.

* I want to be able to sit down and watch my tv shows without worrying about "if i do this will it come and bite me in the house work" or hearing from a small child how "i want to watch something else" one can only take so much pbs, pokemon and scooby doo. i don't even get the luxury of watching phinus and ferb and more cuz stupid dish and their stupid dispute with disney.

* I want to be able to take a bath in the am and not have to repeat before bed just becuz the man says so. Why do i have to take 2 baths and you only have to take one.

*I want to stop hearing the words. "i don't need to" Well obviously if you want X then yes you NEED to do Y exspecially if i said so. it isn't too hard to clean your room every day if you do it every day but yeah if you wait 2 weeks it will become overwhelming.

* I WANT more me time. i haven't scrapped in a long time. i don't have the time. i think i would more if i had my DVR hooked up so that i can watch tv in here too. cuz then i could catch up on my shows and scrapbook. but i am trying to get the house in order so that eventually i can use the 2.50 hours that Sam is in school to scrapbook.
I am sure there are more I WANTS but i really dont' want to think about it anymore

10 things I did today

taking a page from my Bff's blog. she got it from another friends blog.

1. Got to take a relaxing bath this A.M before the kids got up.

2. Got to actually watch a few shows on my DVR. Still so many to go. I did decide to toss two new shows that i just don't think i will ever get to watch. probably will get cancelled. if they don't and i hear buzz i will watch online or wait for the dvd

3. Went with my bff to shopko to get my new couch

4. Had lunch with said freind. would have been nice to have a sit down instead of fast food but beggers can't be choosers. it was still nice.

5. took out the old couch, moved the burgandy one to the front room, new couch to the living room, old couch to the porch for Sat to take to the recycling center

6. Front room carpet shampooed,

7. Kids fed and happy

8. (ok these next few will come in an hour but i don't want to leave this hanging) Kid bathed

9. Laundry done, kids cloths hung up while they are in the bath

10. Stories and tucking in

Samantha's first week of school complete

I already see a change in her after one week. She loves going to school and practically runs to the door. start of day routine is going well. I still push her to the right order of things but i can do it from the door. Eventually i will wean off of that and maybe i will be able to just open the door and and watch her go in and do things she needs. though i think i may have to help come winter. right now we don't have boots and snow pants to worry about. Eventually i will let that go to. She will have to learn to do it on her own becuz in Kindergarten i won't be there to help her for recesses. Also she hasn't pooped in her pants in over a week. Again before bath she told me she had to poop. Sat on the toilet and went. so far it is only before bath (that is 2x a week) but that is better than pooping in her pants 1x a week. Potty chairs are gone (well one is still upstairs but that will be going out too) She uses big toilet and without those potty insert thing too. Next hurdle wiping her butt on her own ;) I told my dh when she was ready she would get it. she would stop. nagging, yelling, scolding and punishing don't help. She got it when she was ready and that is all you can do. Potty training goes smoother if you wait for the child to be ready then pushing it. less accidents and clean up. She was Pee trained in days. poop took longer but think if she went more often it would have been sooner.

Tomorrow is the big day!!!

Sam's first day of Jr K. how exciting? i asked her if she was excited and she said NO. i said "just think in the am you get to go to Kids Kove and play with the kids. then come home for lunch then to school to play with the kids. a full day of playing with the kids. I haven't decided yet if i am going to try for Water Fitness again or not. the Pool is warmer. I will get out of the gym at about 9:45 if i stay just for the first class (with some hot tub time after) then home to make Sam some lunch about 11ish. She has to be to school by 12:15. I am going to take pictures but un sure how i will get them here. maybe i will get a reg SD card instead of a SDHC card

Friday

today is friday why does this excite me. well I don't have to get up at 6am tomorrow. it also means one day closer to Monday. my little girl starts JrK and I am excited for her. she is going to grow up so much this year. I also will be getting her school pictures. I have already gotten Camden's, they were ok. no smile. and Hunter's better and a smile. i can't wait to see Sam's, her's has to be awesome.

Kids and homework

Homework stresses me out. Part of me is of the thinking that it is their responsiblity to do their homework and get it done without me standing over them. the other part is to stand over them and get it done. But the older boy don't listen to me when I tell him that i don't care if he did it at school i want the homework to come home in the homework folder so i can see it and make sure it is done. I also don't understand the agenda. i don't know what is due what isn't due. I tell them no computer until it is done but then they say "it is done i did it at school" well yeah how am i suppose to know you didn't bring it home. then bam report card time. D's and F's. WTH Testing scores come back ADVANCED in reading and math. well then dude why are you getting D's and F's.

My problem is also that i don't stick with the punishment. Why cuz then i am punished as well.

I hate homework. I wish they would outlaw it.

Today Sam went to school for a little bit

Today she went to school for 1.5 hrs without momma. She was a little scared at first. But i told her that she can take 1 dittie(blankie) and that is isn't any different than when we go to the Centre and she goes to Kids Kove while i work out. She will have fun and then before you know it, your day will be done. She did well. I don't think she even knew I was gone. I quietly walked away. No tears from either of us. On the 27th she will start JrK. her school is going to be done then. It was a little strange sitting on the chair watching tv with the house quiet of kids. The man was playing a game and I sat down and watched a show that i been putting off cuz it has a bit of adult theme to it (even though it is geared toward teenagers. yeah i know FYI it was Gossip Girl) I am a little anxious watching her grow and i know she will. this year she is going to have alot of growth. alot of indpendence and her speech and learning patience and how to write and walk in a line and listen to someone other than me. She is my baby and while i want her to stay my baby, i was kinda loving the silence of the afternoon. pick up may be a nightmare at first. I have to explain to C that he is going to have to be picked up last so not to worry if he don't see me but the way things are I am going to have to get S first then H to avoid crossing over the traffic to get to C. this way I am always turning Right. it isn't like he will wait long. i will get S at 2:55 then H after that (how ever long it takes him to get out) and then most likely C at 3:05. he will just have to wait for about 10m. i won't know the exact timing of it until i do it.

Cuttlebug storage

finally i found a way to store my cuttlebug embossing folders. I got the idea initially from CK but decided to use it for my folders. i bought a bunch of those pencil pouches from target. they run about 70c a piece. i got the clear. then i sewed down the middle for the thinner boarders i sewed the width of a ruler i had. not all the way across. stopping about 1 inch from the zipper spot. this creates two pockets for the folders or if you are doing thin then it is 5 pockets. i also removed the zipper from it cuz i really didn't need it. as soon as i get some better pictures i will post them. sad thing is i have too many to fit in the cute 3 ring binder i have. going to have to get a larger 2 inch binder

Tension

there is tension in the house. of course it is cuz of money. and the man takes it out on the person closest to him. ME. apparently i am a disappointment. cuz why, I am not skinny. Well buddy neither are you. but i don't let you know that everyday. do i sit and watch episode after episode of shows cuz there is a hot dude in there. Nope! Sure i admire the male form. but i keep it to myself. I don't ask you "why can't you look like him" nope. Also Marble isn't ugly. i tried to talk to you about my reason on having her. the things running through my head but you shot me down. How can i talk to you about things if that is the response i get? i know they payment is due for the dishwasher before the 0% is over. i understand there is alot on your plate. but Talk to me instead of scolding me as a child. i can't take this emotional moods and you taking it out on me. i am not a disappointment. I have one year till i can get a job. you can thank your lucky stars i am not a normal girl. who likes fancy cloths, shoes and jewlery.

Well working in my room today

i know i haven't updated about scrappin in a bit. because i haven't been. i just wasn't feeling it in my room. If you recall i rearranged it back last year. MY ROOM Well i have since moved from there to the dining room. that means moving the playroom downstairs. The Den will now be the Man Cave. and then my scrapbook room i have full view of the back yard so i can see the kids if they are out there. As soon as i get it in order i will take some pictures. right now it is kinda a mess. i love the hardwood floor cuz i can wheel from place to place on my chair but also i hate the hardwood floor cuz of all the little dust bunnies. and with 4 animals in the house. it is alot. Also every time i get up Dancer freaks and gets up quickly and slides a bit and I am afriad she might hurt herself.

Been awhile since i updated. Sorry

I started this blog mainly for my scrapbooking but then it turned into me talking about my dog dying and her last days. I haven't been scrapbooking much but my furbabies and kids are growing. I am hoping to start scrapping again more. becuz i am going to have a LOT to scrap about. First my youngest is starting school this year. I can't believe she is old enuf for school. It is only JrK and half days but that means that in one year she will be in Kindergarten Full days. OMG what am I going to do with my days. probably find a part time job with mommy hours. that would be ideal with dh cuz you know he wants me to have a REAL job. as if being a full time Mommy isn't. but one that brings in money that isn't his. Other news is a new addition to the family. I been wanting a puppy for a long time. Maybe it is cuz my Fertility has ended and my baby is going off to school and her independance is hard. expecially knowing that i won't have anymore children but yet I have IRL and Online friends all having babies. But i been looking at puppies since the day i saw that Cocker Spaniel puppy at ACE. so it is thing to make an excuse to go into Ace and look at the puppies romping around. but dh kept saying NO. But i know why I wasn't going to get puppy cuz they weren't the right ones. Flashforward to Friday June 18th when my bff txt'd me a question "a little girl who need a loving mom" not sure what she meant. maybe that her DD is on her nerves and she wanted me to take her. but that isn't what she meant. this is what she meant

This is Marble. She was why i didn't get those other Cockers I saw. cuz I was waiting for her. She is a Merle color with gorgous green eyes. She loves Samantha and playing with Bailey. Sorry the picture isn't the best it was in my car and with my phone which has a horrid lag for taking a picture of a quick moving puppy but as soon as i find my battery charger for my camera i will get better pictures.

BUT technically we are only suppose to have 2 dogs and now we have 3. but also according to the Bylaws we aren't suppose to have RV's, Boats, Trailers in the driveway or along side the house, we are suppose to mow up to the curb. And no one listens to that either. So dh says not to worry. plus Dancer probably only has one or two good years on her. And really Dancer isn't even outside much to be an issue. So ya know. No one would have known we had 3 dogs but it just so happens some Busy body old man came by to tell me one of my neighbors who is a pussy and can't come to me or Dh to talk about it. complained that MY dog is barking too much. Yes she has an annoying bark when she gets started on something like people coming to the house, walking by (getting better) and stray dogs that seemingly roam willy nilly around the neighborhood. but at that time is when the kids came around with Marble. he asked if i was babysitting. i said No. I told him she is going to replace Dancer when she goes cuz she is getting old. The old fart actually wanted to know when i was going to put her down. What the hell is it your buisness. So right now everytime i go to the mail box i wonder if there is going to be a letter saying we are going against the bylaws. my puppy isn't bringing down house values. Deal with the RVs first. Deal with the yards First. honestly i have 2 acres of land. why can't i have my dogs enjoy it. but that isn't the end cuz now i have to be cruel and stick a bark collar on bailey and stop her from doing what dogs do but only when she is outside. Everyone in this neighborhood pretty much owns a dog but yet mine is singled out and torchered. So you know you can go suck on a rock about my puppy since you are doing this to my Bailey. she is now a shell of the dog she was when outside. I am glad we have Marble to play with her and romp around and make her a little happier. cuz seeing her silenced outside hurts. cuz i sit out and pray she don't bark cuz she will get hurt when she does. So far she barely has. maybe it is cuz Marble keeps her too wore out to bother.

So yep i have to get back to scrappin to do my dd first day of school, scrap the new puppy, Scrap Dancer layouts cuz you never know when she will be gone. Exspecially when Lady got sick so quickly. and if my bff ever gets her baby (real not fur) i will have to do a baby book for her.

So that is sort up with me. Oh i am also looking into a sleep test for Apnea. Dh has it and wants me to get tested. it would be helpful to know how i sleep if anything. right now i sleep crappy but it is my own fault cuz i don't go to bed early and i wake up early

Baby Girl not a baby anymore

My last child, my little girl. This year is going to be emotional. In the last weekend, my baby decided to finally grow up and go potty on the toilet. She hasn't been in a diaper since Friday. She has been using her potty and staying dry. We haven't hit the pooping part yet. While this is something i have wanted for a long time. It does make me sad cuz she is my last child and she is growing up so fast. Also she is starting school in the Fall. I have Jr. Kindergarten registration this month. Also waiting to see if she is accepted in open enrollment. That way she can go to school with her brothers and it would make life easier. If she don't get open enrolled I will have to look into doing 4K through our actual district and hopefully get her into the Centre. And then try to do open enrollment again the next year. if she don't get accept then i don't know what i will do. I would probably have to move the boys to New Richmond. they won't like it though. So cross your fingers she gets in. Her brothers have been both accepted so that is working toward her but it isn't a guarantee. So what am i going to do with my time you ask. Well i am hoping to get her into the pm JrK at Somerset. that way we can go to the Centre in the AM and she can play with the kids while i work out and then afterward do lunch then go to JrK. i will use that time to run quick errands and maybe scrapbook on days i don't have anything errands. It is going to be shocking those first few trips to get the kids being alone. and then the next year she will be in all day Kindergarten. Where did the time go? When she start Kindergarten then i will look into a part time job with mommy hours.

I scrapped a little tonite.

i will try to post soon. it wasn't much just 2 cards but i crafted and that is all that matters right. I have 10 more cards to complete and then i can ship these out. remind me never to do this again (voluteer card for an auction) unless i have the cards completed before hand. I am also making playfood to hopefully sell to earn money for a trip. if i can earn the money then maybe the man won't make a big deal of me going.

well i better get these kids to bed, kitchen picked up and then hop in the tub

How can everyone afford it?

I beginning to feel resentful. WHY you say. while i live in a nice house and have 3 ok children. I see parents with better children than me. How do they do it? I have lost control some how some where. Also trips. i see people on my mommy boards or Facebook, going on trips, weekends at Disney, Weeks at Disney, Cruises and trip here and trips there. I will most likely never see Disney ever. i would love to go on a cruise or to disney. i think my kids would have a blast. I want to go to Lego Land but not going to happen. I can't even afford to go to Wisconsin Dells. and then i see some mommies spending $200 for a carseat, $400 for a stroller. WHAT THE HECK? why would you do that? I have a careseat for Sam, cost me $45, him what can i do with the $150 i saved. put it away for a trip to Disney. Yeah right don't i wish. Course this is coming from a person who is trying to come up with a way for me to get some more Copic Markers. those markers aren't cheap $5-$8 a pop for one marker but they are soo much fun. Shoot thinking about it, i paid $200 for my cricut expression and it does give me way more pleasure than a carseat any day. oh another splurg i would love is some Shape up Sketchers but that still isn't as much as a carseat or a trip to Disney. Oh and then you hear from those same mothers who dish out the dough on pricey strollers and carseats only to hear 'my child don't like to drive in the car" or "she hates the stroller" so much for your fancy baby gear huh?

Lost my scrappin chi.

i don't know where it went but i just am having a hard time scrappin. i wonder if it is cuz this room is so closed in for me. i need more room. but won't be able to do that until i clean out the basment and move the playroom down there. who knows when that will be.

It also don't help that the kids are in here all the time. on the computer. they have thier own computer but it is now with out a keyboard cuz C ruined mine. also the one i stole is getting ruined. i don't know how they can go through so many keyboards. ok i know, cuz C don't listen to me when i say NO FOOD AND NO DRINK. Also H don't like the kids computer cuz it is too SLOW.

My plan is to move the playroom down stairs. my scrap stuff into the dining room (playroom) and then move H into the den. but dh's plan would be move me to playroom and him to den. and H and sleep with S. how long is that going to last. S is a girl and H is getting older. C can't sleep in a room with other people cuz he gets too riled up and S and H will laugh at him and C will continue. We need a 4 bedroom house. but other than the basment. there really is no where to expand to and no one to help expand it. or money to hire someone.

As for C. he is in need of an up in his meds. we have an appointment on Monday for that. H is doing better with homework. At least this is what he has been telling me. no tummy aches so i think he is telling the truth. S still isn't potty trained and i told her we are going pee on the potty when she turns 4. so she has a couple weeks

but that is pretty much it.